Dear Friends,
We just went to see the movie Extrordinary Measures as a family. It was a great flick. If you haven't seen it you really should make time. Anyway, it made me think about Dad. Part of the conflict in the movie is pertaining to if researchers should know the people they are striving to find a cure for. One of the characters in the movie said no and the main character believed it would give a face to research. I have to wonder if researchers for a cure for Alzheimers have a clear picture of what dementia does to loved ones. It's a disease that makes your own body your enemy. It is like having your identity erased a little more everyday. For those who love the people effected it is like watching a death one cell at a time and at the same time being terrified that the gene or cell that started this process is lying in wait for them. The sad part is that the pictures of our loved ones don't really tell the story, you have to talk with them and feel the absense of their vital life draining. How do you translate the desperate situations of the loved ones to the researchers. Dementia has a face and it needs to be clearly seen. How can we make that happen? Any ideas?

Just Thinking,
Debbie

Dad Update and Finding My Topic

Dear Friends,
I went today with my mom to visit my dad. He is in such a nice place it makes me feel we really are doing a good thing for him. I found out today that they had him in therapy for over 2 hours working his limbs and cognitive abilities. He also ate in the dining room and one of the CNAs helped him eat. They are so kind and helpful! The ice cream shop was open and the ice cream is free! Dad ate chocolate and loved every spoonful! Mom fed him and he had his mouth open for every bite.
Unfortunately, they have had to put the folley (sp) back in which increases the risk of infection. The question right now is if he has frontal lobe dementia and vascular dementia. The Altziemers term has also been used often. I find myself confused about what all of these mean and I need to get a background knowledge. I have done some information seeking but without any sense of organization. I want to focus my energies on not just understanding but how to best meet the needs of my dad and mom. I have started my search via the internet and pulling out the books I have collected but not had time to focus my information gathering. I hope to be a help not only to myself and my family. More later, have a great weekend!

Deb

Dear Friends and Followers,
My dad is now at Westside Village. His room is very nice and thanks for Jim Howser, Natalie and Alex his belongings are all tucked in with him. When we went to see him last night he looked like he was asleep but he was playing possum. He woke up with a start when the nurse stopped in to check on him. What a concept, checking on the residents. He seemed at peace and comfortable. It was great to see him in a clean and well kept facility. When I arrived at 8:00 all of the residents were tucked snuggly in their beds as opposed to his former facility where most of the patients at 7:45 were out in the halls starring at the walls. What an awesome change!
My pop is now healthier but pretty delusional. He told me last night that he was glad I brought his clothes because he had to go to work today and he didn't want to go in a hospital gown. He also told me that he wanted a wallet with money and keys. I don't think he went to work today considering he still can't get out of bed on his own. I'll take him being goofy anyday compared to the pasty/gray despondant unresponsive state he was in less than a week ago.
What do I think about this class so far. Well, I have really enjoyed this new toy. I think it has helped me process my thoughts and feelings along with the progress my dad has made. I do think by doing so I have listened to myself and now realize what a horrible situation so many of our memory impaired elderly are living in. An electronic tool that can help you with your processing, wow that sounds backwards. I have also learned how to create a movie and attach it to my blog, with my daughter's help, and upload pictures. I wish I could say that I have read all of the material but I'm still working on it. Maybe I should stop blogging and start reading. Anyway, it is nice to have followers. The hilarious thing was that my husband's best man in our wedding was my first follower. Take care and don't forget about me!

Debbie

My Dad's Progress

Hello Everybody,
It is with a happy heart that I greet all of you. (at this point it is two) Anyway, my dad is now trying to feed himself and is talking the ears off of the nurses. He has big business deals he needs to complete and he is exhausted from all of the errands he has been running. He is actually back to where he was before Thanksgiving, confused and somewhat healthy. Unfortunately, due to the poor care he received he is too weak to walk and may not gain that back. I am so grateful for his progress and for the skilled care and wisdom of the St. Vincent staff.
I am stunned by the lack of care and concern coming from the nursing home. I have no question in my mind that their lack of care has caused the series of events that we are now living through. It sickens me that some of the most precious members of our society, our aged, are not treated with the care that we would demand. What happens to people in facilities that do not have family that keep a close watch on them. It is my mission to find ways to help these people. The only saving grace to the facility is that they realized that my dad needed to go to the hospital. If they had not moved him to the ER when they did I would be writing about my dad's life instead of his future.
In just a few minutes we are going to see a highly intellectual movie, The Chipmunk Movie. It will be fun to let my brain just enjoy a movie and not have to think so hard. My mom is back at my dad's side, but we are going to try to pull her away for some fun as well. Tune in later for an update on dad.

Today my brother and I went to a facility on 10th street that was recommended to us. It was unbelievable. The place was beautiful and the residents were not in the hallways staring out into space. People seemed to be enjoying their life and time together. The facility was amazing with a pool and hot tub, putting green, beauty salon, billiard room, theater room, and so much more. The prices were reasonable and it seemed like a place where my dad would be able to maintain his dignity. They have a doctor there everyday and a new doctor is starting next week to help cover the weekends. I have to say it was an answer to prayer. Every other facility has either been too expensive or just trashy. I truly believe that his former facility is responsible for his decline. I think that if we move him back there they will kill him. It amazes me that we allow places that take care of the most needy to be substandard. Dad may have a new home as soon as tomorrow. I hope this one is a happy one.

Sincerely,
Debbie

Dad's Doing Better

Today Dad woke up without a fever without the aid of Tylenol. He ate all of his breakfast of Cream of Wheat and peaches. In fact, he even told me how to fix the "cereal". He has been talking and opening his eyes up so that you can see them. He has not even had to strain to open them. What a blessing! We went out to look at a new facility for him and brought him back a Hardys Milk Shake. He drank 1/2 of it and then told me he was done but don't throw it away.

He also has been asking to call several of his friends and his stories have been fairly accurrate. He even was cracking jokes with Uncle Fred.

Unfortunately, his endurance is not high and he just asked me to lay him down because he was so exhausted he wanted to rest. I hate this disease and even though I know what is happening I don't understand it. I just want him to be comfortable and happy.

Garry and I went out to look at another place for dad. It is just so sad to see the people sitting around in wheelchairs with emotionless faces staring at invisible scenes. I keep thinking there has to be better places than these. Where do they serve integrity along with the medicine? If I could give my dad back anything it would be his health. I have been operating in an arena that I don't know which enemy is going to come out of the gate. I only pray that Iam making the right decisions. Thank God for Garry being here. It makes me feel more secure to not make decisions alone. Only the future will tell whether we have made the right ones.

Debbie

Dad Update

I'm spending the night at the hospital tonight with dad. His fever is down again and he is feeling like he wants to talk. He is having the shakes in his arms and legs. His left arm is swelling and is now elevated. He is still very thirsty and has drank at least 6 big glasses of water tonight. He keeps asking me to move him up and down and all around in his bed. He means he wants me to move the bed up and down for him. He lets out a sigh of relief everytime we repeat this ritual. It must be hard to lay on your back for such along time. They are still trying to ascertain where the infection is coming from, Last and most prevalent thought, his pressure wound. The wound people have been in to treat it again and try to help it to heal.

Today I paid attention to my dad's hands and feet. They were both in hideous condition. I braced myself and washed, cleaned and cut his fingernails and toe nails. He said that it felt better. At least I think they look better. You never think about how many people hold loved ones hands until you reach for their hand and see and feel grit. He is all clean now. Now if we can get his bushy little face shorn he will be ready for the world.

I'm going to try to grab a few zzzzzzzzs. Dad is doing better now we just have to see if he can pull his way through the infection. Please continue to pray for his health and comfort.

In Him,
Debbie

Dad Update

I don't know if anyone is reading this but I thought I would practice my blogging skills. I'm at the hospital with my dad and they are still trying to determine the source of the infection. They put him on a cooling blanket and the good news is that his temp is down. He is talking in sentences and asking for ice. He is even on his fourth glass. Praise God! Please continue to pray for his continued health. Pastor Dan and Pastor Steve have been such a blessing as well as our other dear friends. We are so lucky.

Tracking Dads Progress

I received a call tonight from the nursing home that my dad had to be taken to the emergency room again. He is dehydrated again, lethagic and running a fever. My mom is with him and my sister is on her way. My heart is filled with pure confusion. Am I sad or am I worried. At this point my life is a roller coaster that is litered with ups and downs. The past three weeks have been the biggest drop in the ride. As I sit here and reflect I am so thankful for all of the friends and family that have stepped up to help and offered their support and help. Life isn't always fun and it makes it better to not travel the dark paths alone. Tune in later for an update.