Have you had your celebration today?

Dear Friends and Followers,
I just thought I would tell you about another great opportunity I had to celebrate tonight. Tonight was the Student Ambassador Celebration for Alex. What an incredible group of young leaders these students are learning to be. I watched Alex up on the stage with all of the other ambassadors and was so pleased with his choices and drive. I am indeed a very lucky and blessed mother. A few months ago I was filled with saddness but nights like tonight tend to light the darkness with hope. Afterwards we celebrated the evening with Culver's ice cream. What a "sweet" way to end an awesome evening. We went with our dear friends across the street and just really enjoyed laughing together and relaxing. Living is so much more exciting when you take time to celebrate! Take care and tell someone how much they mean to YOU today!

Sincerely,
Debbie Huffine

Life Moves On

Dear Friends and Followers,
Sorry I haven't been a very good blogger the past few weeks but life has gotten very busy. We are deep in the heat of soccer season and we seem to have at least two activities each night. In case you haven't heard Eric was not successful in his attempt at being elected to the Pike School Board. He lost by 38 votes. It is a number that will haunt us for many years (2) to come. We have already found 5 people who didn't vote who thought he didn't need their votes. We have learned how important it is to support what you beleive in. Everyone has encouraged him to run again. We have learned an enormous amount through the process. Some of what we have learned brings ah ha moments some just makes you mad. Anyway, tune in later to where we go from here. I have only 7 more days of school so I am looking forward to a bit of catching up.
The biggest news is that my mom has agreed to move into the condo. The housing market is just not great right now and it is such a nice place for her we are looking forward to having her close. Her move in date is the end of June.
Lastly, I had the priviledge to attend my oldest nephew's college graduation this weekend, Eric Peters. He received his masters in Hospital Administration and already has a job. I know he will be an amazing administrator because he is one of the most amazing people I know. I even got to see his son, Simon, he has grown so much and he looked so cute. I loved the turtles on his pants. I took mom so she could attend and she really loved it. It is so great to have happy moments to celebrate. Today I had to take Natalie to have a tooth fixed and her dentist said a friend told him never pass up a time to celebrate because there are way to many times we are attending not so happy moments. I am grateful we were able to be included and could rejoice in Eric's hard work. I know Grandpa Peters would have been extremely proud!
Well, that is all for now. I need to get ready for another busy week but know I am thinking of all of you daily. We went through some boxes at my dad's on Friday and it always amazes me how fast time flies by and we are left wondering where the time went. At my dad's funeral several people said they really felt like they should get a in touch with my dad the past year. They were grieved they missed the opportunity. Don't miss the opportunity to reach out to someone you haven't seen. They and you will benefit from the gesture more than you know.

Lots of Love,
Debbie

Getting Something Done!

Dear Followers,

I am pleased to announce that I have finished my inquiry project. I collected all the information several weeks ago but did not have time to put it in a form to share all the knowledge I gained. I wanted to do a "report" in Prezi because I had never tried it before. I don't know if I did it correctly but I finished it. I even surprised Eric, the tech guru was surprised. Here is the link, check it out and see what you think.

http://prezi.com/bx1idmupj1_p/edit/#58

This is dedicated to my dad. If it can help anyone's walk with Vascular Dementia be more informed then it has indeed served it's purpose. Thank you for your support and prayers.

Fondly,
Debbie

Good Grief Charlie Brown

Dear Followers,
It has been several weeks since my last blog. In some ways I feel like a new chapter has began. Life has been very strange. I think about Charlie Brown's famous saying and I think I understand it better. Grief is a good thing mostly but it is not a fun thing to have. I am still struggling with the decision to put my dad in hospice. I still see my dad's eyes looking into mine and it seems he is silently asking for my help. I feel that moving him to hospice denied him that chance. I understand how sick he was but watching him die still haunts me. I will be sound asleep and suddenly see his face with his dropped jaw struggling to breathe. Needless to say there is very little sleeping that happens after those images.
Weekends are the hardest for me. I woke up this morning with an incredible feeling of sadness. I was supposed to go to a meeting but I couldn't even bring myself to let anybody see me in my sad state. It is like a hole opens up inside of me and all of my energy and thought gets sucked in. When my spirits start to lift I find I am just exhausted and my brain just can't think. It is easier to work because I can fill my head with things to do and goals to accomplish. Being at home makes me focus on the other parts of my life of which my dad occupied so much.
The hardest part of grief is the lack of understanding by other people. When dad died everyone was so sympathetic. Everyone understood the pain and saddness my heart was going through but the further away you get from the funeral the more people get busy and move on. I now go a week without anyone mentioning my dad. It goes back to that hole. You become embarrassed to express your saddness fearing the lack of understanding.
I play a game with myself, it is called forget it happened. That works for quiet a while then reality sets in and the pain comes rushing back in my heart. The worst part is that I am a bit optimist. Being sad is just not what I do well. If I could answer the questions in my head about dad maybe there would be peace. Did I do the right thing taking him to the hospital that day before Thanksgiving? That is the day everything changed. I never thought it would hurt so bad.
What have I learned? First of all Kym and Amy have stressed to us to reflect on our process. I have learned to listen to people. When people are hurting the worst thing you can do is look too busy to listen to them. Grief has no timeline so caring for people after a loss is a much longer process than a few days. Hugs are a great sense of healing, don't flinch if the person you are hugging starts to cry. Let hurting people know you are there for them for as long as you need them. Lastly, writing helps me put my thought into words. Grief is paralyzing to me. Writing is liberating for me. If I can train myself to write more and cry less I may get through this. Thanks for listening. Please know how much I value all of you.

Sincerely,
Debbie

Vascular Dementia - Alzheimer's Disease

Vascular Dementia - Alzheimer's Disease

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society: "If the person with dementia remains in the same position for too long - for example, in a bed or chair - they may develop pressure sores. Pressure sores need immediate attention, as they can easily become infected and painful."

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society: "Some people experience hallucinations, in which they see, smell, hear, taste or feel things that are not really there. Others develop delusions, in which they experience distorted ideas about what is happening. If the person is distressed, distracting and comforting them can help."

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society: "The person may react aggressively if they feel threatened or cannot understand what is going on around them"

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society: "The person may become more agitated in the late afternoon and early evening. This is sometimes known as 'sundowning'. Those caring for the person sometimes find it helps to give the person more individual attention at this time, or to arrange extra help at this time of day."

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society: "Most people with dementia lose weight in the later stages of the illness, although occasionally people eat too much and put on weight. The person may need help and encouragement with eating and drinking. If chewing and swallowing are a problem, due to the muscles and reflexes no longer working properly, the person may choke on food or develop chest infections, so it is important to seek help."

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society

The later stages of dementia - Alzheimer's Society: "Many people with dementia gradually lose their ability to walk and to perform everyday tasks unaided. One of the first signs of this is that they shuffle or walk unsteadily. They may also seem slow or clumsy and be more likely to bump into things, drop objects or fall. A stroke, arthritis or the effects of a fall may also affect a person's mobility."

Vascular Dementia - Alzheimer's Disease

Vascular Dementia - Alzheimer's Disease

Dear Followers,
I was researching for my inquiry project and I found a website that saddened me. It states what my mind was thinking. Here are the starting facts that I found on this website: http://altzheimers.about.com/od/caregivers/a/surv_nurs_homes.htm

• There is evidence that people with dementia admitted to psycogeriatric nursing homes and care facilities die comparatively quickly. It is known that mortality rates are high initially, when people move from their homes.
• 50-60% of people admitted to care facilities die within the first two years and are the highest the first six months.

I found a page on the website where you can post your story with your walk with loved ones with altzheimers. I left this note about my dad last night. Tonight 37 people have already read my post. It is posted on my blog.

The more I read and research about this disease the more I am scared for my future. The jury is still out if Altzheimers is genetic. The sad news is that we took my mom to the doctor yesterday to try to get her resettled. He is asking her to take a driving test and we are looking into home health care/occupational therapy. The good news is that my mom is totally unlike my dad in that she listens and wants to do the right thing. I will keep you in the loop.

Fondly,

Debbie

A Huge Thank you!

Dear Friends,
It has been several days since my last blog and I have to tell you they have been some extremely tough days. You all know that my dad passed away Tuesday morning and since then we have been on a freight train recovering. The viewing was Thursday night and it was an incredible blessing seeing so many of you and please know if I didn't get to talk to you much your presense was so appreciated. I have never known the strengh that just being there can give to someone. It made the night a time where I felt I could share my dad with everyone and celebrate the incredible life he led. My only regret was not being able to talk with everyone as much as I wished I could.
Friday was tough, that is the only word I can think of. Saying good-bye and watching my dad's body being put away clearly reminded me that we only use these imperfect bodies for a short time and when our spirit leaves the body is just an empty container. I know for certain that my father is in heaven rejoicing. In a strange way it gives hope for my future. It was so comforting to see all of the friends and family come and walk that journey with us. It would be so lonely to be alone. I can't thank everyone enough.
The amazing event for me was looking over my friend's shoulder and seeing my best childhood buddy (from age 4) standing waiting for me. Jennifer said she just knew something was wrong and started reading the obituaries from Indy. Jennifer you are a blessing. I have no question that we were bonded as babies and that it is a mighty strong tie. Other friends, Tina, what a comfort to have you there as well as all of the church friends and relatives. I can't thank you enough.
Le Peep was wonderful! The whole mood of the day was brighter. My dad would have loved sharing his favorite restrauant with his friends. The food was terrific and the fellowship even better. Thank you Le Peep friends for doing such an awesome job!
After everyone left from the funeral I was left alone with my thoughts and that was when I began to notice how tired and beat up I was emotionally. I called my brother and sister and we all felt like we had run a marathon. It was a great day though. I wouldn't have changed a thing.
Now we have to turn our attention to the living and that is my mom. Today was spent working on getting her organized. She is forgetting to eat, has not been taking her meds, not been taking care of herself physically and we fear she may regress even more. Please pray for her. We are all hurting but her loss is immense. She has not only lost her husband but her friend and companion. No one can fill my dad's shoes on that one.
Dementia is a terrible animal. The more I learn the more I am so afraid of that path. It is like a thief in the night that robs you of your greatest possessions, your memories and health. I hope through this I can help others eventually when I am healed. It is like nothing I have ever dealt with. I am constantly asking myself what I should have done differently and something always comes to mind. Regret and sorrow follow this disease as closely as a shadow. It is something I hope to put behind me quickly.
So to my followers, and I now know there are many, I thank you for your prayers, thoughts and compassionate actions. I hope I can return the kindness for all of you. My life has hit a very low valley but I can see many arms reaching down ready to help me climb out. Thank you for everything.

Love,
Debbie

A Bittersweet Good-bye

Dear Friends,
My dad passed away tonight shortly after midnight, 12:15 A.M. It was very quick. I was at home getting ready to go to bed when Gay called. I threw my clothes on and raced over only to miss his departure by a few minutes. Before I left tonight I gave him a hug and kiss and told him I loved him. I know he knew I was here. Although the atmosphere is grim here there is a celebration in heaven welcoming Lowell into the neighborhood. I'm sure he has a great mansion and crown waiting for him. The Lord has given the ultimate healing to my dad's weak body. In his life he always told us he was healed. Well, he now is completely healed. My brother and his wife are on their way. What a rotten way for Garry and Pat to finish their journey.

Fondly,
Debbie

Update on Dad

Dear Friends,
It amazes me that I am finding more and more friends that are reading my blog and finding out how dad is doing. Today he is resting more comfortably but he is not getting any better. His urine is getting darker and darker and he has not really opened his eyes to look at us. My mom has not left his side most of the time holding his hand. This is one tough journey.
We read the binder they provided for us when we brought dad here. It has information about what to expect and look for. I can tell you honestly it is a great depressing resource. I am still struggling with the responsibility of bringing him here. I know he is really sick and will get sick again but going this way is just really hard. They are telling us that it is harder on us than on him and I am praying that is true.
I am struggling right now on what to do tomorrow. I want to stay by my dad and there are some things that must occur before he passes but I feel responsible for my students and the running of my classroom. At this point I think I will go to school tomorrow if for no other reason but to get ready for a longer absence. I am praying for understanding and a delay.
Tonight is the Superbowl. My dad would have loved to watch the game. He was a die hard sports fan. He loved the Colts and the Pacers as if they were his own children. He actually attended more of their events than mine. (Interesting thought...) He could tell you who was playing and their record. He can't do that anymore and it breaks your heart.
I've been thinking... wouldn't it be nice if people had expiration dates. Then we would know when and how we would leave this world. Today was amazing. It has been so comforting to see so many family and friends. I know my dad heard everyone of their voices. The food from friends and relatives and friends watching the kids has been more than helpful, it has been a Godsend. Thank you so much for everything that you have done. I can honestly say this is the toughest time I have ever had to go through and I wouldn't not wish it on anyone.
Last night I went home and read from the book The 36 Hour Day. In it I found the following points.

Death

• p. 113 The immediate cause of death is often a complicating condition, such as a pneumonia, dehydration, infection, or malnutrition, but the actual cause of death is the dementing illness.
• p. 117 The questions that families often face include whether to hospitalize a person, use tubes to feed a person who has stopped eating or markedly limit their food and fluid intake, or treat concurrent illness with antibiotics or surgery.
  

Concealing Memory Loss

• p. 121 The person living with someone who as dementia may know tht theperosn is impaired yet get no support or understaind from others who cannot see the problem. Friends may say the "he looks and sound perfectly all right. I don't see why he cannot remember to call me." Family members may not be able to differentiate between real memory loss and plain contrariness.
• p. 212 When the person does not know they have memory problems, h may manage for years until a crisis occurs. Families are often shocked and distresed by the extent fo the problem when they finally learn of it.

Hallucinations

• p.162 Hallucinations are a symptom, like a fever or sore throat.
• Hallucinations develop as an inexplicable part of the dementia.

Terms to Know

• Amyloid proteins - abnormal deposits of a protein called amyloid are found in the brains of people with Alzheimers

More Later,
Debbie

Dad is not doing well

Dear Followers,
Just thought I would let you know that dad is not doing well at all. Please pray for his comfort and ours. He has fought the great battle and he has reached the end of his journey, but boy does it hurt.

Sincerely,
Debbie

Humor is Good for the Soul

Dear Followers,
I am so glad to have this blog. It has enabled me to document the journey for myself and at the same time keep some people updated. Less I digress, I promised some humor. When we left St. Vs today to go to the hospice we left my mom's car in the parking lot because the roads were getting yucky. Eric and Garry went back to get her car after we ate dinner. They were scraping the snow off the car thinking the windows were broke when they realized that she had left her front two windows cracked open a few inches. There was several inches of snow inside her car. Garry, like a true son, drove the car sitting on wet seats to her apartment. He arrived back at hospice with a wet bottom. What a day it has been. I left hospice at 11:30 and Eric and Garry stayed. He is resting more comfortably but is still coughing and crying at times. It was a welcomed laugh tonight when Garry shared my mom's sillyness. I'm spending time with my own two kiddos tonight. They really missed their mommy and are concerned I'm ok. Please continue to pray for my dad and his family. I don't know what going through this would be like without God carrying me through.

Fondly,
Debbie

A New Address For Dad

Dear Followers,
We have reached a different spot in my dad's life. Hospice. It is a very kind and peaceful place but we are now focused on easing the pain and not curing the infections. When I arrived at the hospital this morning the doctors met with us. The decision was to stop the antibiotic treatment and proceed with hospice. Dad had a 102 fever most of the day only controlled with Tylenol. We also found out that he has bacteria in his blood they were not sure if he was sepsis or if is was staff. Both are not good options. After filling out the paperwork they transferred my dad to hospice at 2:30. He is in a beautiful room and they have been very kind. He is now on a morphine line and they have backed his oxygen down to a nasal canula so thy could moisturize the air. He seems to be more comfortable but I would say he is peaceful. He did eat chocolate ice cream and drank a half glass of water from a straw.
Making this decision was the hardest decision I have ever made. I believe it tore my brother, sister and mom apart but the medical experts assured us it was the right decision. I now know what people go through and I have to tell you that it tears your heart right out of your chest. Tomorrow we are going to make funeral arrangements. Even though I am praying for a miracle I know the miracle may be peace. The exit strategy on this earth is just now a good one. I have spent every moment with dad giving him water, arranging his pillows, encouraging him to breath deep, and taking care of my mom. It has made me understand compassion at a whole new level. Needless to say, I have not done much of anything else. I'll post later when I have more news.

Fondly,
Debbie

Another Day with Dad!

Dear Followers,
Garry, Mom and I spent the night with dad last night. The St. Vincent amazing staff worked throughout the night to save my dad's life. The respitory therapist came in numerous times working to reduce the oxygen level in an attempt to lower his heart rate and along with the support from the doctors, staff and morphine his heart rate is now down to 95 and he is resting comfortably.
Gay returned early this morning and at least one of us is rested. The doctor came to visit us and although he is encouraged he feels that dad has a long way to go. He is not hopeful of him returning to the nursing home. He spoke with us about a feeding tube and the decision we may have to make. He cautioned us and said that we are far from that. Dad has a massive amount of infection that he needs to fight though in order to survive. He believes that dad may have lost the understanding of swallowing and is asperating whatever goes in his mouth. That is a gigantic problem and brings forward many new decisions that we are going to have to face.
How wonderful friends and family are. This morning dad had a visitor bright and early. Every visitor makes my dad react. He remembered him being here and even smiled. Thank you for all your prayers, kind deeds, and visits. They are all greatly appreciated.

Fondly,
Debbie

Taking the First Shift

Dear Followers,
It's 12:30 and Garry, Mom and I are with dad. He is about the same but we made the decision to help him feel more comfortable by giving him some morphine. He has responded to all of us. He has been holding my hand and he seems to want to do so. His heart rate continues to go up to over 175 and he is struggling to breathe but he is more comfortable. Garry can really make him respond.
Gay and Nikki went to my mom's to rest. The both looked very wiped. It is funny how distress can make you so exhausted. I know a bit of rest will do them both well. I'm worried about my mom because she is being brave but not taking care of herself. I'll send another update soon. Take care.

Sincerely,
Debbie

Dear Followers,
Just wanted you to know that I am at the hospital with dad. He is not doing well. All of my attention is focused on him. My brother is on his way from WI and Gay, Nikki, Mom and I are manning the ship. He is receiving the best care but it is definately a David and Goliath story. My dad is fighting pneumonia, another uti and now renal failure. They are making him comfortable and hitting the infection squarely in the face with the "nuclear bomb" of antibiotics. We are now on the Medical floor and have a new team of doctors.
The prognosis is not good. They have told us that the next 12 hours will be critical. He is struggling to keep his heart rate down below 150 now and he is on a non rebreather straight oxygen mask. His stomach pulls in and out everytime he breaths. The bright spot was when Alex and Natalie came by to see Grandpa. I told dad they were here and he smiled! It made their day and ours. In some ways it is a blessing that his memories and mind are still in tact while his body is failing around him.
It is in times like these that you really see the wonderful character in people. Before I left school today two of my girls came up to me and asked me if we could pray as a class for my dad. The incredibly cool thing was that one was a Muslim and the other a Christian. I know they are lifting my dad up in prayer as well as numerous others. If that wasn't incredible enough Mrs. Fitts and friends, I don't even know how many, at school worked so that my lesson plans were ready to go and she even brought us dinner tonight. If it weren't for her I would not have been able to be with my dad and I surely would not have eaten.
Earlier today in the ER John Reeder, Mark Hearn, and Paster Dan all came by to pray with dad. If God didn't know where he was before then there was a spotlight up to heaven from my dad's bed as these three men of God raised their voices and prayers to Him. What a blessing to have the assurance that my dad is surrounded by great Christian men.
This is one of the hardest roads I have ever had to travel. I have to wonder what makes our journey through this world so different. Some make a grand entrance into this world and sneak out and others struggle with every breath that they take. I know God has a plan and that we have no way to understand His purpose in so many things we struggle with but it sure is hard. If you are reading this please continue to pray for my dad. I know prayer works. They have told us that he will probably not make it through the night. That is the saddest news I have had in my life.

Sincerely,
Debbie

Dad's New Challenge and My Project

Dear Followers,
Saturday was the start of a bad beginning for my dad. Natalie, Mom, and I went to solo and ensemble and Natalie did a terrific job receiving a gold rating for not only her string trio but her solo as well. Walking on air and filled with joy we went to visit my dad. Natalie took her cello in and played her solo for dad and then went to the dining room and played for the residents during their lunch. Dad, unfortunately, has contracted another infection. This time it was causing him to have diarrhea. They had already begun treatment and were hopeful to get it under control. He had been moved so he could be on the nurse's wing who had the most experience with wound management and he didn't want to eat. The nurse is awesome. He came in and was so concerned with helping dad and doing everything possible to help his pressure sores heal. I left with guarded hope for a fast recovery.
Today I got the phone call from the doctor that dad had taken a turn for the worst. They believe he has Pneumonia and another UTI. I had to make the decision to have him taken to the hospital or start the treatment (oxygen, Pic line, Antibiotics and Fluids) at the nursing home. The third option was to not do anything at all and let him continue to decline. I was not ready for the third option. I took the second. The trips to and from the hospital tend to confuse him and he does not need that at all. We will see how he progresses. He is just so weak that he is a target for any wandering bug.
I think dementia is the worst way to loose anyone you love. It is like dying a thousand deaths. You have to watch your loved one fail one system at a time all the while their recognition of you and all that has made up their world fades into the woodwork. It is like making decisions for a ghost. My dad still knows who we are and when we are there but he is floating in and out of consciencness and it is so hard to walk away feeling hopeful. The new facility is amazing. I can find comfort in knowing he is in a place where they are so kind and attentive. At least that small part is positive.

Project
I came home and found some material that I was given at the second hospital. It outlines the stages of Alzheimer's Disease. It is written by Dr. Barry Reisberg. Part of my journey with my project I am having to weed out accurrate and inaccurrate information that is relavent to my search. This summary of the stages of Alzheimer's does not accurately portray my dad's walk. Inconsistencies like this are why it is such a confusing disease.

Tune in for more updates on my journey.

Fondly,
Debbie

Dear Friends,
We just went to see the movie Extrordinary Measures as a family. It was a great flick. If you haven't seen it you really should make time. Anyway, it made me think about Dad. Part of the conflict in the movie is pertaining to if researchers should know the people they are striving to find a cure for. One of the characters in the movie said no and the main character believed it would give a face to research. I have to wonder if researchers for a cure for Alzheimers have a clear picture of what dementia does to loved ones. It's a disease that makes your own body your enemy. It is like having your identity erased a little more everyday. For those who love the people effected it is like watching a death one cell at a time and at the same time being terrified that the gene or cell that started this process is lying in wait for them. The sad part is that the pictures of our loved ones don't really tell the story, you have to talk with them and feel the absense of their vital life draining. How do you translate the desperate situations of the loved ones to the researchers. Dementia has a face and it needs to be clearly seen. How can we make that happen? Any ideas?

Just Thinking,
Debbie

Dad Update and Finding My Topic

Dear Friends,
I went today with my mom to visit my dad. He is in such a nice place it makes me feel we really are doing a good thing for him. I found out today that they had him in therapy for over 2 hours working his limbs and cognitive abilities. He also ate in the dining room and one of the CNAs helped him eat. They are so kind and helpful! The ice cream shop was open and the ice cream is free! Dad ate chocolate and loved every spoonful! Mom fed him and he had his mouth open for every bite.
Unfortunately, they have had to put the folley (sp) back in which increases the risk of infection. The question right now is if he has frontal lobe dementia and vascular dementia. The Altziemers term has also been used often. I find myself confused about what all of these mean and I need to get a background knowledge. I have done some information seeking but without any sense of organization. I want to focus my energies on not just understanding but how to best meet the needs of my dad and mom. I have started my search via the internet and pulling out the books I have collected but not had time to focus my information gathering. I hope to be a help not only to myself and my family. More later, have a great weekend!

Deb

Dear Friends and Followers,
My dad is now at Westside Village. His room is very nice and thanks for Jim Howser, Natalie and Alex his belongings are all tucked in with him. When we went to see him last night he looked like he was asleep but he was playing possum. He woke up with a start when the nurse stopped in to check on him. What a concept, checking on the residents. He seemed at peace and comfortable. It was great to see him in a clean and well kept facility. When I arrived at 8:00 all of the residents were tucked snuggly in their beds as opposed to his former facility where most of the patients at 7:45 were out in the halls starring at the walls. What an awesome change!
My pop is now healthier but pretty delusional. He told me last night that he was glad I brought his clothes because he had to go to work today and he didn't want to go in a hospital gown. He also told me that he wanted a wallet with money and keys. I don't think he went to work today considering he still can't get out of bed on his own. I'll take him being goofy anyday compared to the pasty/gray despondant unresponsive state he was in less than a week ago.
What do I think about this class so far. Well, I have really enjoyed this new toy. I think it has helped me process my thoughts and feelings along with the progress my dad has made. I do think by doing so I have listened to myself and now realize what a horrible situation so many of our memory impaired elderly are living in. An electronic tool that can help you with your processing, wow that sounds backwards. I have also learned how to create a movie and attach it to my blog, with my daughter's help, and upload pictures. I wish I could say that I have read all of the material but I'm still working on it. Maybe I should stop blogging and start reading. Anyway, it is nice to have followers. The hilarious thing was that my husband's best man in our wedding was my first follower. Take care and don't forget about me!

Debbie

My Dad's Progress

Hello Everybody,
It is with a happy heart that I greet all of you. (at this point it is two) Anyway, my dad is now trying to feed himself and is talking the ears off of the nurses. He has big business deals he needs to complete and he is exhausted from all of the errands he has been running. He is actually back to where he was before Thanksgiving, confused and somewhat healthy. Unfortunately, due to the poor care he received he is too weak to walk and may not gain that back. I am so grateful for his progress and for the skilled care and wisdom of the St. Vincent staff.
I am stunned by the lack of care and concern coming from the nursing home. I have no question in my mind that their lack of care has caused the series of events that we are now living through. It sickens me that some of the most precious members of our society, our aged, are not treated with the care that we would demand. What happens to people in facilities that do not have family that keep a close watch on them. It is my mission to find ways to help these people. The only saving grace to the facility is that they realized that my dad needed to go to the hospital. If they had not moved him to the ER when they did I would be writing about my dad's life instead of his future.
In just a few minutes we are going to see a highly intellectual movie, The Chipmunk Movie. It will be fun to let my brain just enjoy a movie and not have to think so hard. My mom is back at my dad's side, but we are going to try to pull her away for some fun as well. Tune in later for an update on dad.

Today my brother and I went to a facility on 10th street that was recommended to us. It was unbelievable. The place was beautiful and the residents were not in the hallways staring out into space. People seemed to be enjoying their life and time together. The facility was amazing with a pool and hot tub, putting green, beauty salon, billiard room, theater room, and so much more. The prices were reasonable and it seemed like a place where my dad would be able to maintain his dignity. They have a doctor there everyday and a new doctor is starting next week to help cover the weekends. I have to say it was an answer to prayer. Every other facility has either been too expensive or just trashy. I truly believe that his former facility is responsible for his decline. I think that if we move him back there they will kill him. It amazes me that we allow places that take care of the most needy to be substandard. Dad may have a new home as soon as tomorrow. I hope this one is a happy one.

Sincerely,
Debbie

Dad's Doing Better

Today Dad woke up without a fever without the aid of Tylenol. He ate all of his breakfast of Cream of Wheat and peaches. In fact, he even told me how to fix the "cereal". He has been talking and opening his eyes up so that you can see them. He has not even had to strain to open them. What a blessing! We went out to look at a new facility for him and brought him back a Hardys Milk Shake. He drank 1/2 of it and then told me he was done but don't throw it away.

He also has been asking to call several of his friends and his stories have been fairly accurrate. He even was cracking jokes with Uncle Fred.

Unfortunately, his endurance is not high and he just asked me to lay him down because he was so exhausted he wanted to rest. I hate this disease and even though I know what is happening I don't understand it. I just want him to be comfortable and happy.

Garry and I went out to look at another place for dad. It is just so sad to see the people sitting around in wheelchairs with emotionless faces staring at invisible scenes. I keep thinking there has to be better places than these. Where do they serve integrity along with the medicine? If I could give my dad back anything it would be his health. I have been operating in an arena that I don't know which enemy is going to come out of the gate. I only pray that Iam making the right decisions. Thank God for Garry being here. It makes me feel more secure to not make decisions alone. Only the future will tell whether we have made the right ones.

Debbie

Dad Update

I'm spending the night at the hospital tonight with dad. His fever is down again and he is feeling like he wants to talk. He is having the shakes in his arms and legs. His left arm is swelling and is now elevated. He is still very thirsty and has drank at least 6 big glasses of water tonight. He keeps asking me to move him up and down and all around in his bed. He means he wants me to move the bed up and down for him. He lets out a sigh of relief everytime we repeat this ritual. It must be hard to lay on your back for such along time. They are still trying to ascertain where the infection is coming from, Last and most prevalent thought, his pressure wound. The wound people have been in to treat it again and try to help it to heal.

Today I paid attention to my dad's hands and feet. They were both in hideous condition. I braced myself and washed, cleaned and cut his fingernails and toe nails. He said that it felt better. At least I think they look better. You never think about how many people hold loved ones hands until you reach for their hand and see and feel grit. He is all clean now. Now if we can get his bushy little face shorn he will be ready for the world.

I'm going to try to grab a few zzzzzzzzs. Dad is doing better now we just have to see if he can pull his way through the infection. Please continue to pray for his health and comfort.

In Him,
Debbie

Dad Update

I don't know if anyone is reading this but I thought I would practice my blogging skills. I'm at the hospital with my dad and they are still trying to determine the source of the infection. They put him on a cooling blanket and the good news is that his temp is down. He is talking in sentences and asking for ice. He is even on his fourth glass. Praise God! Please continue to pray for his continued health. Pastor Dan and Pastor Steve have been such a blessing as well as our other dear friends. We are so lucky.

Tracking Dads Progress

I received a call tonight from the nursing home that my dad had to be taken to the emergency room again. He is dehydrated again, lethagic and running a fever. My mom is with him and my sister is on her way. My heart is filled with pure confusion. Am I sad or am I worried. At this point my life is a roller coaster that is litered with ups and downs. The past three weeks have been the biggest drop in the ride. As I sit here and reflect I am so thankful for all of the friends and family that have stepped up to help and offered their support and help. Life isn't always fun and it makes it better to not travel the dark paths alone. Tune in later for an update.